Quarantine Confessions

I haven't blogged in years - I also haven't been exclusively home with kids in years.  I process by writing and at the end of this second week of the great social isolation experiment, I have some thoughts to share.

I keep telling myself that we will find a routine soon, but that hasn't really happened yet.  The first attempt at keeping the kids busy with a "points" system was meant to be self directed and stimulate creativity. I got a fair bit of push-back, but we did establish a few positives such as reading aloud to the kids (Little Pilgrim's Progress), playing more games together, figuring out how to use Microsoft Teams so they can connect with their teachers and friends, and going for a daily walk.  I realized that we needed time to adjust and having a structured schedule right off the bat would be overboard for all of us.  However, I didn't want a free-for-all/chaos.  I also didn't feel well last week and there was a stomach bug in the house, so I was more patient with us all.

On Monday this week, I allowed for a Free-for-All day with no limits on screens or snacks.  I thought, get it out of their system.  I cleaned and did groceries and thought we would get ready to start the "home school" schedule Tuesday.  Yes I made a colour coded chart with blocks of time scheduled.  We eased into my plan - trying to be flexible and not go full force right away upon the advice of this article.  We had 1 ok day with some academic stuff happening.  But reality...stuff comes up, distractions, lack of motivation, fatigue, not knowing where to start, feeling pulled between all the kids. We spent an entire morning working on Rube Goldberg machines, but I didn't follow the schedule which resulted in some anxiety.

There are interruptions, things I need to do, conflicts and moods, 4 kids, 1 mom - you get it. I think I am probably not the only one a little frazzled, confused, emotional and anxious these days.

Turns out I have weaknesses and shortcomings.  I have said "fine" after saying no but then being worn down.  I have felt the need to control but then been humbled.  I am not a teacher and not confident in doing "school" with my kids. I have had ideals of what I thought I could accomplish in a day. There are so many wonderful resources out there - technology is an amazing tool - there is no shortage of ideas - but it can be overwhelming too.

I have thought of this time as a gift, that I can do things with the kids that we don't normally have time for.  I have been thankful for the blessings of home, health, food and family.  I have also felt aimless, bored, overwhelmed and anxious.

I have been encouraged by messages coming from both our schools - that it is most important to be present with my kids, to give us all grace and patience, to take it slow with academics.  I am thankful to be able to stay home with them.  I have ideas but they don't all need to be implemented at once - I think we'll be in this for a while yet.  Nurturing relationships and growing character is a priority.

Taking a "koek and coffee break"

Next week is a fresh start - I will still have a "plan", but I will adjust it and try to be realistic.

I write this as a raw, honest reflection of a surreal and confusing experience.  I take comfort knowing that God is in control, that this time is sanctifying us, that there are lots of teachable moments and opportunities to show and ask for forgiveness!

With a Bushel of Humility and a Peck of Grace,

Stephanie


My dear husband wrote this encouraging article for the school newsletter.  I am so thankful for him and all the teachers who are navigating these uncharted waters and trying to engage our kids in learning from home.